Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tourism for dummies

Today we took the day trip to end all day trips. I don't think I've had a trip like this since the good ole college days. I'll try to tell it in chapters below.

Chapter 1: How to convince me to come to your island

Okay, this part is pretty basic, Misty and I wanted to try and find a really nice beach for an anniversary day trip. So, we talked to our friends, hit the internet, even looked at recent newspaper articles about which beaches in the area had the best water quality, scenery, etc. In the end, all signs pointed to X beach at Island Y. So, we packed up and made the trip.

Chapter 2: How to convince me never to come back to your island

We arrived at the island with our maps, time tables, bus routes, yippee! As we got off the bus I asked the driver how to get to X beach from the stop. "Oh, go that way and take a left," he replied. Along the way, we checked to be sure we had the right street with some oyster . . . whatever you call guys who raise oysters. "Take that road to the other side of the mountain. It's a nice big beach!" Off we go, chair, parasol, suits and gear in tow, hiking the mountain to our island paradise. Did I mention Misty's three weeks from her due date? We get to the base of the mountain, and just like everyone said, there was the beach. A nice long stretch of sand, all the facilities the internet promised . . . Except for one thing, the large entrance gate is latched. Misty didn't take a picture of the beach as Matt hopped the gate to scope it out, but if she had, the scene would have looked something like this, only greener (compare below).

As we were on the way back from X beach, a kind mailman stopped to give us directions. "Yeah, that was X beach," he said, "but, people can't swim there at all anymore." In typical Japanese fashion, he crossed his arms as he said this, creating the sinking sensation one feels when a giant X appears across the screen on "The Family Feud," dooming their favorite contestant to years of ridicule at the office ("Dude, Amsterdam is not a country!") Note to self, if anyone asks me for directions to an abandoned, unusable beach, tell them the beach is deserted due to extreme safety hazards.

The postman told us where our plan B beach was, so we headed off in that direction. In theory, all we had to do was hop on the bus where we'd gotten off and take a five minute ride to the next great beach. In theory. In reality, the buses don't run on schedule. The buses don't run 30 minutes behind schedule. Basically, we saw three buses in seven hours where there should have been 14. Rather than sit in the sun waiting for a bus that wasn't coming, and unwilling to forfeit her trip to the beach, Misty opted to hike to the next beach. All told, we walked at least 4 miles. Did I mention that Misty is 9 1/4 months pregnant?

Chapter 3: How to redeem your island

Deliverance came in the form of a random taxi. This wonderful lady swept us into her air-conditioned chariot and wisked us off to adventure. Then she arranged to pick us up later. Kudos to you, lady! We might just come back after all.

Chapter 4: Fun in the sun

Beach B was every bit as beautiful as we'd heard. Matt set up Misty's chair, parasol and sheet and rushed head-on into the crashing waves and a first-time experience. For the first time in his life, Matt came face to face with a live jellyfish in the wild. Scratch that, five live jellyfish. The yearly jellyfish invasion of Hiroshima came a week early, bringing with it all kinds of adventure, panic and screaming children. All said, we did have a good time. Matt learned that the top of a jellyfish can't sting you no matter how many times you touch it, and so on.

Chapter 5: How to ruin your island after so many people worked so hard to redeem it

This one's pretty simple. Take the place of your taxi driver colleague who just went off duty, pick up your fare and hit the "foreigner" button on the meter. You know what button I'm talking about. The "I know that no white guy could possibly read my language, so I'll double the fare" button (yes, the meter really has a double-fare button). Good job, buddy! It didn't help that after we got to the ferry, the vending machine sold Matt a chocolate milk with white floaters in it.

Chapter 6: How to guarantee I'll come back to your restaurant

Feed me the best Indian curry, nan and tandoor chicken I've ever tasted, and do it all four dollars cheaper than every other Indian restaurant within an hour. Way to go Ganesh!! Your curry even made the mayonnaise you use as salad dressing taste good. You rock!

The end.

Postscript: Misty is the toughest person on the planet. Even though she's carrying a whole 'nother person under that shirt of hers, she hiked half of island Y. At first, she was a little cranky because she thought Matt had gotten her lost on one of those "scenic route" adventures (I've gotta prepare for fatherhood somehow). But, when we got to the Ghost Town, she realized he'd followed the directions right and was all smiles. Whenever we got to a bus stop I'd say, "Hey we should wait so you don't push it," and she would say something to the effect of, "The bus isn't coming, and I'm not doing all of this to not go to the beach," and off she'd go. Despite traversing a mountain or two, she was even asking if I wanted her to carry stuff. Mom's are scary strong.


Stephanie said...

Oh Misty.... What the heck were you doing!!!! You are so much more woman than I will ever be!!! I would have been an angry monster and Ben would have had to put me down!!! LOL!!! Glad you all had a good time though!!! I would have probably gone into labor!
Many, many Blessings!!!

SouthAsiaRocks said...

That was quite our trip... haha! Definitely an anniversary to remember :) haha! Awesome! I got stuck having to walk just a couple of miles the other day and I thought I was going to DIE!!! (and I'm not near as preg as you!)
Glad you enjoyed your Indian food afterwards :) fun! (oh, and an FYI... Ganesh is the name of the Hindu Elephant-headed god... just in case you were wondering) :)
Happy Anniversary!

E-Rob said...

Hey y'all, you probably don't remember us, but we are James and Emily and were at your FPO. Andrea shared with me your blog awhile back. Anyway I have to! I am so impressed. I am only 26 weeks and I don't think I could have done that. I can't wait to hear about your new bundle of joy. I hope you blog about the experience!

Anonymous said...

Great post! I found you via Misty's CAfe Mom page! I think I'll stop by and visit to see how you're doing! The baby is adorable by the way!

Leigh Ann said...

This is definitely the Misty I know! This girl hasn't changed a bit! So hard headed... But I still love her!